Hello, hello beautiful readers of Strange and New!
So I know it's been a while since I've updated y'all, but I feel no need to apologize considering I've just survived the outback and should receive a congratulatory beer from each and every one of you. And by beer, I don't mean a hot XXXX Gold from a roadhouse accompanied by a brown snake next to the toilet.
Let's back up a little bit, though. Since my last update, we were in Sydney about to head to the Blue Mountains where it was nice to see cockatoos and parrots flying around in the wild - not in your friend's grandmother's bathroom. We also found a Yellow Deli in the area, a hippie cult restaurant with damn good sandwiches started in my hometown of Chattanooga. Long story short, they were blown away that I was from their Mother Land and invited us to their farm for a celebration of eternity. We went, slid down a giant waterslide, learned an Israeli folk dance, and drank mattes on mattes. Was it weird? Yes. But the play put on by the children dressed up as bees made it arguably normal.
After they loaded us up with "Green Drinks", we made our way to the land of kangaroos and dirt. Ten minutes in, and we learned that by kangaroos, they mean flies. And by dirt, they mean a fuck load. On this portion of our adventure, we broke down in Coober Pedy, the opal capital of the world where everything is a dug out and Crazy Nick stands outside the underground hostel, yelling about how the Greeks are taking over the town; discovered that Uluru is actually surrounded by a massive resort and tourists will still climb the rock despite the Aboriginals request not to; realized that when camping with a group of Israelis in the middle of the desert, they 1) are pros at cooking food underground and 2) can't speak English other than in Simon and Garfunkel lyrics; finally learned how to drive a stick while dodging emus and listening to the Night at the Roxbury soundtrack; and watched the sunrise over the outback while in a hot air balloon, later getting uncomfortably drunk from champagne by 7 AM.
Now, we're in Adelaide where we'll soon be starting the Great Ocean Road to Melbourne. I'm looking forward to stepping outside and not being bombarded with hundreds of flies wanting to rent out my face.
6 more days in Australia, y'all. Then off to Mordor!