Let's talk about fanny packs. 

But first, let's give credit where credit is due. Thanks 15th-century French folks who hung bags around their waists! And thanks 1980's Americans for finally catching onto the trend.

And thanks, The Rock

And thanks, The Rock

Unfortunately, though, this form of fashion went out of style along with ripped tights and over-sized blazers, which really sucks considering that, unlike the rest of the 80's styles that were lost with those Cyndi Lauper cassette tapes, fanny packs are practical as fuck. 

But don't roll your eyes at me. Fanny packs are making a comeback, and there's literally nothing you can do about it. American Apparel sold 170,000 of them between 2010 and 2014 with 60,000 of them selling in the last year. And everyone knows American Apparel stays on top of the trends. 

But forget trends and leotards. Let's get to the simplicity of the issue. 

Here's why fanny packs rule.

They're freakin' convenient 

Do you know how annoying it is to slide in and out of tables, between crowds, and out of cars with a bulky purse loading you down and catching on every crease, crevice, and crack?

Answer: it's annoying. 

Clip this baby around your waist, and it's like you're not even wearing it. That is, until it comes time for someone to ask for your ID, which you'll answer appropriately, "Oh, of course. Hold on. Let me reach into my fanny pack." 

Batman rocks one

And look at how much cooler he is than Robin. 

They're safe

If anyone's getting robbed in this picture, it's Jacqueline

If anyone's getting robbed in this picture, it's Jacqueline

If you're ever walking around in the woods without bear spray (pro tip: don't be dumb and walk around in the woods without bear spray), there's one thing a bear wouldn't be able to do if you're rocking a fanny pack: rob you. 

They work with every occasion 

Casual travel? Fanny pack. Adventure travel? Fanny pack. Day trip? Fanny pack. Lunch date? Fanny pack. Netflix and chill? Fanny pack. Cooking dinner? Fanny pack. Bed? Sure, fanny pack. There's literally no time of the day that's not appropriate to have one of these bad babes hugging your waist. 

So the next time you're thinking about changing up your style, consider going the fanny pack route. Because, as Bernard Baruch once said, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." 

In other words, anyone who gives a side-eye to your fanny pack can kiss your ass. 

 

 

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