But don't actually forget about sandboarding because you should totally risk your life in the dune buggy to bounce around and watch the sunset while also getting angry over the trash on the dunes if you care about the environment. Which, if you don't care about the environment, get the fuck off my blog. 

Also, if you're not drunk in Huacachina by 2 pm, you should also get off my blog. Let's start drinking, yeah? 

So Huacachina looks a little something like this: a lagoon in the middle of massive sand dunes in Peru, 5 hours south of Lima. It's a tiny place, so there's not much to do besides sandboarding and getting drunk. 

We stayed at Boulevard Hostel on the lagoon, which is where we decided to book our wine tour. And by decided to book, I mean we got off a 12-hour overnight bus ride from Arequipa, overheard a German ask the guy at the front desk about a wine tour, and then decided to book it right then for later that day. We knew no details of the tour, which ended up being pretty sweet considering it was like a constant scavenger hunt for more wine. But we paid up our 40 soles, tried to take a nap, and then got ready for the tour. 

The first stop: Tacama. 

Your van takes you down this dirt road with tons of flowers and decorations, which was pretty refreshing to see after only seeing sand for and dirt for the past few days. 

Tacama really is beautiful. I mean, LOOK AT IT. 

But not only is it some wine eye candy (which is fitting considering Peruvian wine is as sweet as a jolly rancher), it's also historic. It's the oldest vineyard in all of South America (that's an entire continent, btw): First it was turned into a coca smorgasbord for the leader of the Incas, and then in the 1500s, it became what we consider a vineyard today. That is, full of grapes and supplying a constant stream of wine to the "City of Kings." Lima has had good taste for a while. 

But enough about that. Let's start tasting. 

Like I said before, if you're not into sweet wine, you're in the wrong country. But the main one you have to look out for is Pisco. I'll give you fair warning — it isn't your average wine. It's brandy, but because it's made with grapes, they'll try and convince you it's wine. It's not. And it will fuck you up. It tends to be yellowish in color, and it varies region to region, country to country (I hear Chilean Pisco tastes entirely different). But whatever variety you try, it'll knock you off your feet. These 16th-century winos had it bad.

Our next stop: El Catador. 

This place has really good steamed yucca, by the way. So that was my selling point. It also had this guy: 

And Pisco. Of course they had more Pisco. We ate here, drank more wine, and then were told by our driver that we had yet another stop to go to. Like I said before, we had no idea what was going on, so a third stop totally threw us for a loop. Pretty much everyone in our group also had to catch the bus for Lima, so by the end of it, it was just my friend and one couple left. 

And guess what they had. Yep. Pisco. Here's my step by step reaction to taking a "shot" of Pisco "wine." 

Verdict? Drunk by 5 pm. Which was nice because we had time to sober up before being talked into going to another wine tour that night. But, that's a different story for a different time. 


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