1. When trying to find this farm, your GPS is most likely trying to get you killed.
“Turn left at the traffic light into the cemetery. Make a U-turn into the menacing forest where your only route to your destination is through thorn bushes and over railroad tracks. Recalculating. Recalculating. Recalculating!”
2. That asparagus you’ve been eating your whole life? Yeah, it hasn’t been cutting itself.
But when you’re given the task of chopping the gross ends from a giant crate of asparagus to feed over 40 people, you’ll realize it’s not the worst task in the world — especially if someone humming Phil Collins is sorting out the spoiled stalks with you.
3. Not all vegans are crazy.
And sometimes - just sometimes- they’ll bake a batch of gritty-yet-delicious vegan cookies for your birthday just moments after exchanging names. Just don’t expect more than a mumble during the part of the Happy Birthday song that’s supposed to reference you. It’s not that they don’t care about your name, they just don’t remember. Not to mention, they’re vegans.
4. All the baths you’ve ever taken? They officially suck.
Because until you’ve poked at a fire under an outdoor tub for two hours just to soak in water floating with flakes of leaves, you haven’t experienced true luxury. Sure you may be covered in ash, but it’s free, luxurious ash.
5. Stop throwing your money away for hot water.
For the nights when you don’t feel like soaking in the fire bath, there’s always the shower. And turns out, when mulch decomposes, it releases heat. So if you wrap the shower hose up in a compost pile, enjoy not paying for hot water for eleven months.
6. Washing your clothes via bicycle isn’t half bad.
Clean clothes and a nice ass? What more could you want?
7. It’s cool when someone plays the accordion.
But it’s not that cool when they play the same song from “Amélie” forty-two times in a row.
8. When you’re assigned dishwashing duty after a communal dinner with 46 people, you better pray it was soup night.
Bowl, spoon, bowl spoon, bowl, spoon. You got this. Lasagna night? You’re fucked.
9. Communal livin’ is the best livin’.
Sure you may have to clean up after yourself more than if you were staying at a hostel or hotel and yeah, you may find a dusty couple sleeping in your bed every now and then, but when you sit around squashing avocados for breakfast guacamole with 20 other people from different parts of the word while someone from Canada tears up the piano accompanied by the girl with the accordion — or when you stay up all night carrying on sober conversations while chickens cluck at your bare feet — you can’t help but think you’ve found one of the most unique ways to travel.
Just be sure to take your shoes — no one wants to piss off a house of hippies.